Zombies are the New Black.
I like zombies. They’re fun to kill in video games. It’s fun to watch them kill people in movies. It’s also fun to watch them get killed by people in movies, and yet, I can’t help but feel that the poor zombies are being exploited by the powers that be. I understand that it is near Halloween as well, so it’s zombies, devil-spawns, and vampires galore. They’re everywhere. And I don’t mean the “Oh my God the Dead are once again alive! Run for your lives and grab a shotgun on the way out!” kind of way. More in the “Let’s dress up like zombies and pretend to be dead as we bar hop” kind of way. It’s sad to see the zombie brought to such a terrible low.
It’s been a pretty quick ascent for the zombie popularity as well. It’s been about a decade since all the remakes of the Dawn of the Dead, Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, and now Zombie-land. Apparently it’s the new cool thing to love zombies. Kind of like how the Honda Fit was cool for hipsters for about two minutes and now they make fun of anyone who was dumb enough to buy it and not lease it. Is this the path of the zombie? I hope not. The transformation of the zombie was pretty crazy as well. They used to slowly walk and say “Braaaaaaaiiinnnnsssss.” When people were killed by them in movies, you’d shout “If you skipped across the park you would have lived! I could survive a zombie apocalypse! Seriously, i hope there’s a zombie apocalypse so i could survive it!” And then you saw 28 Days Later with their running zombies and you weren’t so confident anymore.
All i’m trying to say is that i like zombies and i’m sad to see them become so lame. Everyone’s favorite monsters these days are zombies. Why? Cause Woody Harrelson was in a movie with them? Or cause you think you’ll look hot as a slutty zombie for Halloween? I once asked a slutty zombie to marry me while i was at Halloween Horror Nights, but that’s neither here nor there. I just wish they hadn’t become so watered down.
Now please excuse me, I’m going to go play some Left 4 Dead and listen to the Misfits.
