Jack never really thought about the world around him. Don’t think that he was ignorant, not at all; he read the news every morning and was actually quite smart. He graduated from an Ivy League school with honors and had a great job, stunning wife, and a couple of kids who go private school and will no doubt go to an Ivy League school as well. Yet, he never noticed the squirrel nest in the tree in his front yard, even though he passed it at least three times a day and trimmed the very tree they lived in every three weeks.
The squirrels on the other hand, noticed him every morning, every afternoon, and every night. They also noticed him when he came at their home with the loud, whirring, munching machine (as they call it) that took some of the best swinging tree limbs away from them. They even tried to reason with him by leaving little acorns for him at the front door of his house, but he swept them away as he’d leave for work in the morning. They thought about learning to write English to communicate with him, but this would take much too long.
Jack was always confused as he’d find acorns at the front door. He’d look around to see which plant or tree could have dropped them, but they always were in the same place and there were no plants near the front door, so he’d brush them aside.
As Jack accelerated on to the highway to start his commute, he looked over to the passenger seat and saw a note. It was scribbled poorly and he had trouble reading it, but once he deciphered it, he crashed his car.
At the scene, the police saw the note and picked it up. They were confused. It read, “Sorry about your brakes, we figured your car needed to be trimmed. Love, the Squirrels.”
Don’t fuck with squirrels.
